Libido Burqas

There are few subjects that both Democrats and Republicans are simultaneously dishonest about. More often than not –on items of socio/political importance– one party will affirm a viewpoint that lies within what it perceives to be most popular amongst its voting base, while the other automatically counters with the opposite position. “They’re for it, then we’re against it”, and vise-versa. But if there’s one thing that neither party are honest about –ever– it’s human sexuality.

Sex-o-phobia seems to be a bi-partisan denial of the realities of human interaction. Both parties use politically correct code regarding sex to steer the national discourse back towards the Ozzie and Harriet ideal. Neither party lives it.  No one, from either side of the aisle has ever even attempted to be honest where it concerns libertine indulgences, and simply come out and say what everyone already knows. For we humans –mammals that we are–  it’s only natural that we like to get laid.

But yet for fear of social/political/moral reprisal,  we’re made to be ashamed of our own sexual impulses. It’s like making people feel guilty for getting hungry. So our collective sexual frustration manifests itself in a uniquely American paradigm. It results in political sex scandals that shouldn’t even exist making headlines. A South Carolina Governor sneaks off to have sex with his Argentinean mistress. A New York Governor has an affair with a high end call girl. An Illinois Senator was discovered going to sex parties with his actress wife. All were forced to abandon their political careers (the latter example giving rise to a young, unknown candidate named Barak Obama).  All were made worse by the inherent dishonesty regarding sexuality.

The thing is, all of this speaks less about anyone’s ability to govern than it does about their honesty, and integrity. If our political commentary included sexual honesty, then it wouldn’t be such a crime when politicians acted human, and might allow them to be less clandestine where it concerns their bedroom practices. If we didn’t make such a big deal about sex, then perhaps it wouldn’t be such so dramatic when some Congressperson gets their rocks off.

Of course there are reasonable limits that should shape our perspectives regarding our legislators, and their sexual practices. Former Senator John Edwards knocking up his mistress behind the back of his cancer ridden wife and then hoping to hang the blame on his married friend speaks volumes about the type of person he is. The fact that Newt Gingrich has been married three times, has no bearing on his integrity, or ability to lead. However the fact that he has married two mistresses, one of whom he cheated on his dying wife with does. Anyone who uses their position –be they democrat or republican– to influence others, is a dirtbag.

Now granted, the more blatant hypocrisy seems to come from the Republican side of the aisle, as their bible thumping, gay hating,  “family values” spokespeople are continually caught with their pants down…. literally… and often in the company of same sex partners.  Seriously, how many anti-gay crusaders have to be exposed as the pillow-biting Mary’s that they truly are before their not-too-bright flocks realize that their being used as pawns in a scam that allows these duplicitous charlatans to profit from their own self loathing? Does anyone honestly believe that Marcus Bachman doesn’t have serious denial issues? For a party who are apparently against both gay, and recreational heterosexual sex, they seem obsessed with it.

But not to be outdone, the “Progressive” elements of the Democratic party have their own sexual issues to deal with. As a sex educator, and a satirist, I have had battles with more than my share of penis hating, burlap wearing bull-dykes who feign “feminism”, when what they really mean is that they resent anyone who doesn’t have to strap on their trouser tuna… or  who’ll claim to be part of the “humanism” movement, which exists insofar as it can be a means to express their gender issues, and to rationalize their awful haircuts.

The truth is, all of this sex-o-phobia, female subjugation and male cuckolding are really just a means to control thought. We all know that we have natural, libidinous impulses, yet for some reason, the national dialogue is such that we are made to feel ashamed of them. But a nation of sexually repressed, orgasm-challenged, frustrated subjugates  are easier to control. So we can argue about the economy or foreign policy all we want, but when it comes right down to it –if you listen for the hidden code on cable news– much of it amounts to little more than a metaphor for “You Libido is Naughty”.

So we need to ask ourselves, “Do we really want a governing body who censors their own ability to be honest about sex”?


About Rich Woods

Rich Woods is the author of the critically acclaimed books, UnLearn Vanilla Marriage, and Yahweh to Hell. He is also a columnist, sociologist, and satirist who has performed seminars around the country. He's also made several TV and radio appearances. Transitioning from a blue-collar background has given Mr. Woods a unique perspective --and an even more unique elocution--among his peers. Raised Catholic, Mr. Woods is now a very public atheist who champions the separation of church and state. He's an advocate for non-traditional relationships, including --but not limited to-- negotiating non-monogamy, as well as being a vocal opponent of political correctness. Throughout his career, Woods has had colorful metaphors hurled in his direction from both liberals, and conservatives. To be honest, most of the vitriol comes from the Tea Party. However, he considers one of his greatest accomplishments having been called "Harry Reid's Lapdog" , and referred to as being "just like Rush Limbaugh" from two different sources within minutes of one another. Originally from Queens, New York, and presently residing in central New Jersey, Rich Woods is madly, and hopelessly in love with his wife Jane since before they were wed in 2002, and is the proud father of two successful, brilliantly creative, young adult children. Try as he might, he can't juggle.

Posted on May 27, 2012, in Recent Posts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Washington has always been a “hotbed” of sexual hypocrisy from the very beginning. The earliest politicians had their mistresses too but society may have been less hypocritical back then.

    American society glorifies and glamorizes extreme violence–games, movies, TV–but show a nipple and a segment of the population and the politicians are “outraged.” Shocking!

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