The Worlds in Which I Live

I am extremely fortunate in more ways than I can begin to elaborate. However in one way in particular I am gladdened to exist in a few different social circles, which allow me the liberty to count many among my friends…  even though at times it can become a little confusing. The “UnLearn” brand name has exposed me to a really unique mix of people, and it would be interesting to see what would happen if we could all be in the same room at the same time. 

The truth is that many of the online communities I frequent simply have different priorities, and in my social life, my Swinger friends are much different people than my VideoCast Pals. Sometimes I find that communication can be awkward. 

My weekly online TV show has given me access to an entire community of people at the message board …Many of these lunatics I count among my closest friends. Every week we gather for the show, and many weekends we socialize. This group is comprised mainly of aspiring comedians, and would-be radio personalities, all of whom could make the average Teamster recoil with their caustic wit, and cringe worthy insults. If you are easily offended, this is not the group to be hanging around with… This is a beer and shot crowd, with a propensity towards high cholesterol, and strong convictions. 

I love these sociopaths. 

Then there are my Swinger friends who are themselves, just a bit more than a tad off center. Most would claim that even to exist in this Lifestyle, one would have to be kind of nuts. This group is for the most part affluent, upwardly mobile, and all of them have heightened libidos. These people have learned how to shed their inhibitions, and they know how to party. This is a Grey Goose Martini crowd, who above all else have acquired the ability to seize the moment, and live their lives to the fullest. 

I love these psychos, too. 

Although the laughs come as easily and as frequently with both groups, and as much as I love being a part of both communities…I doubt either group would understand the premise from which the other operates.  Certainly when I drift from one community to the other, sure as hell neither posse understands me. 

For instance my “Show” buddies and I are hanging out, between beers and burgers our conversation is wrought with politically incorrect humor. We’ll tell rape and cancer jokes as easily as we recount what we had for lunch, and we’ll “smash” one another with ridicule and mockery as a way to show our affection. This is what we do, and if are not a part of that world, you’ll just probably not “get it”… 

On the other hand, when hanging out with my “Swinger” friends, we’ll tell stories about parties or vacations where libidinous scenarios, extra marital fornication, and awesome sexual encounters occurred. Most of us have swapped partners, so there is really no topic that is off-limits. This is what we do, and if are not a part of that world, you’ll just probably not “get it”… 

Both groups are a large part of who I am…and while we all also share bonds of trial and triumph, and discuss everything from family to the world at large, the contrast is stark and surreal…and this is not even mentioning the various online communities I belong to, many of whom would only share an utter disdain for the other…  But when it all comes right down to it, regardless of what community they stem from, the singular commonality that accords everyone in my life is that they are generous to a fault, brutally honest, and have exhibited an unyielding sense of friendship.

 …and for that, I love you all.


About Rich Woods

Rich Woods is the author of the critically acclaimed books, UnLearn Vanilla Marriage, and Yahweh to Hell. He is also a columnist, sociologist, and satirist who has performed seminars around the country. He's also made several TV and radio appearances. Transitioning from a blue-collar background has given Mr. Woods a unique perspective --and an even more unique elocution--among his peers. Raised Catholic, Mr. Woods is now a very public atheist who champions the separation of church and state. He's an advocate for non-traditional relationships, including --but not limited to-- negotiating non-monogamy, as well as being a vocal opponent of political correctness. Throughout his career, Woods has had colorful metaphors hurled in his direction from both liberals, and conservatives. To be honest, most of the vitriol comes from the Tea Party. However, he considers one of his greatest accomplishments having been called "Harry Reid's Lapdog" , and referred to as being "just like Rush Limbaugh" from two different sources within minutes of one another. Originally from Queens, New York, and presently residing in central New Jersey, Rich Woods is madly, and hopelessly in love with his wife Jane since before they were wed in 2002, and is the proud father of two successful, brilliantly creative, young adult children. Try as he might, he can't juggle.

Posted on January 2, 2010, in Archived Posts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. We are lucky to have you, just as you are “blessed” (LOL) to have us. Now go get your F’n shine box muffin top………..

  2. Very interesting life you lead sir. We all should be so lucky.

  3. Thanks for the kind words Rich. I look forward to the day that the entire “LTR” crowd can converge at the same place and do what we do best, Drink beers and throw each other under the bus.

  4. I think I need to switch teams… the swinger side is affluent and has a lot of sex, you say?

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